If someone doesn’t find you attractive - then that is their perspective. It does not have to be our own. Don’t give up on me and stop reading…hear me out. I know there are women reading this who may have been left by their partners for a younger women after years of marriage. I know there are young women reading this who fear their boyfriend left them to be with someone he found more hot. So many of us from teens to mature women struggle with worry that our romantic prospects are limited by our appearance.
I know this is very hard stuff. That is precisely why advertising builds our insecurity, banks on it, and makes ALOT of money off of our insecurity and succeeds in shifting our ideals.
So I am choosing to bring myself back again and again as I slip into wrong thinking; to self directed vitality. Because obsessing over my dress size, counting wrinkles and comparing myself to 27 year olds will not increase my vitality; it will diminish me in too many ways. I am not suggesting your body doesn’t matter. It does. I am suggesting that we chose to define how it matters by what it can do for us, and how it allows us to experience the world through our physical senses. Not simply on how it looks to others.
How do I practice this? I make a choice to show up with pride, courage and self care. It’s not always easy.
The way I increase my vitality may be different than what fits for you. But here is what I mean by the shift in perspective: